RSD Vent Diary 2

[brideoffrankenstein]

This is petty but i just want to write it down because things stew. So my mum gets a /lot/ of post. At least one parcel every post day, usually more like three or four. I think she probably has the same buy-things dopamine that I do. But the deal right now is that I have a parcel on order, not come yet, might be another day or so. I thought it might come today.  But I have been banned from fetching the post, because I didn't follow the Coronavirus Post Collecting Protocols even though I asked if there were any and was told it was just to spray the outsides with alcohol spray. And then today my dad went and got the post and took the outside packaging off without looking who they were addressed to and just gave them to mum, which is statistically accurate and was accurate today, but I felt...weird. About that.

And then when I do bring in post, if there is anything there not for mum, she goes 'is that not for me?' and gets this sad look on her face, so if something is for me I feel like I have to like, intercept it before she sees it. And then the fact that this parcel is taking a while to arrive is just making me want to buy more things, and it's so hard to control that impulse without getting distressed because I have nothing else I can do whatsoever. I don't even feel like I can bake any more even though I could because the kitchen has become Mum's Kitchen and I'll use up resources and I'll probably fuck everything up and waste stuff anyway.

Comments

[flowersforgraves]

<#

[brideoffrankenstein]

<3 love to you too, I know things have been really rough and horrid.

[rugessnome]

<3

I feel like being cooped up together is making many of us a little cross.

[brideoffrankenstein]

Yeah, it's the lack of even the Concept of getting a break from it? At least in normal times you can be like "if it gets too bad I can do x thing".