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Keel's Amazing Welsh Cakes Recipe
Dec. 25th, 2018 12:25 pmThey're amazing because they didn't burn. They always burn when I make them, except this once.
Credit where credit's due, I based this off Karen Burns-Booth's recipe on the Great British Chefs website but have twisted it about a bit for americans and other people who lack some kind of weighing mechanism in their day to day life.
This recipe will require:
at least one god
a scant two cups of (plain) flour with one teaspoon of baking powder.
one stick of butter, chopped into around eight bits.
one quarter-cup of white sugar. in america they SAY granulated but it's not like any granulated sugar I've ever seen. caster, for british people.
a reasonable amount of chocolate chips (currants or other dried fruit are traditional but sometimes you are a welshman without access to currants and with access to a 24oz bag of chocolate chips, which is surely an illegally large amount)
one egg
this much (*holds fingers close together*) milk
-
Take your flour and butter in an inconveniently large halloween themed plastic bowl because your partner has not yet opened their christmas gift of three reasonably sized glass baking bowls. Rub the butter into the flour until it vaguely resembles breadcrumbs and you've run out of fun textures to squish. I believe you can do this in a food processor if that is preferable.
Put the sugar in. Woosh it about with your floury fingers until it's mixed. Put the chocolate chips in (or currants). Repeat.
Beat your egg until it is all that vaguely homogeneous gelatinous mass. Put milk in with egg.
Put egg in the flour etc mixture. Work it all until it comes together in a big sticky ball. Add small amounts (spoonfuls at a time) of flour until the dough is tacky rather than sticky. Chill. The dough, not you. But you can too if you like.
Take dough. Put dough on floured surface. Roll out dough until the chocolate chips scream consistently*. Cut welsh cakes as big as you like with whatever circle cutter is to hand. I used the rim of a Better than Bouillion jar. You may use a cookie cutter if your partner has not recently used up such jar, or if you have not yet washed said jar of heartily condensed chicken stock. 1.5-2 inches is a reasonable size.
Chill again. You too this time.
Take one cast iron skillet or griddle. Put in a little oil. Heat on high until water gets very angry when you sprinkle a bit in.
PUT HEAT ON THE LOWEST LOW SETTING
Take the scraggly mishapen extra welsh cakes and put them in your pan. Cook them for approximately three minutes per side. These mishapen babies will probably be burnt but this is fine. If they're not, rejoice. Either way, eat one straggly one and sacrifice the rest to the god of your choice.
Cook the rest of the welsh cakes for three minutes per side. If the pan starts to cool below the angry-water stage, turn the heat up very slightly, leave for a couple of minutes, then turn back down. Don't ever, ever, ever put it on medium. We're using residual heat here folks.
Put a small amount of butter on the welsh cakes and eat hot. You can microwave the ones you didn't eat first off.
*as in, when the chocolate chips make a large amount of noise against your wooden chopping board because they won't go any thinner and it's mean to try and make them. This is approximately one quarter inch thick, if a little more.
Credit where credit's due, I based this off Karen Burns-Booth's recipe on the Great British Chefs website but have twisted it about a bit for americans and other people who lack some kind of weighing mechanism in their day to day life.
This recipe will require:
at least one god
a scant two cups of (plain) flour with one teaspoon of baking powder.
one stick of butter, chopped into around eight bits.
one quarter-cup of white sugar. in america they SAY granulated but it's not like any granulated sugar I've ever seen. caster, for british people.
a reasonable amount of chocolate chips (currants or other dried fruit are traditional but sometimes you are a welshman without access to currants and with access to a 24oz bag of chocolate chips, which is surely an illegally large amount)
one egg
this much (*holds fingers close together*) milk
-
Take your flour and butter in an inconveniently large halloween themed plastic bowl because your partner has not yet opened their christmas gift of three reasonably sized glass baking bowls. Rub the butter into the flour until it vaguely resembles breadcrumbs and you've run out of fun textures to squish. I believe you can do this in a food processor if that is preferable.
Put the sugar in. Woosh it about with your floury fingers until it's mixed. Put the chocolate chips in (or currants). Repeat.
Beat your egg until it is all that vaguely homogeneous gelatinous mass. Put milk in with egg.
Put egg in the flour etc mixture. Work it all until it comes together in a big sticky ball. Add small amounts (spoonfuls at a time) of flour until the dough is tacky rather than sticky. Chill. The dough, not you. But you can too if you like.
Take dough. Put dough on floured surface. Roll out dough until the chocolate chips scream consistently*. Cut welsh cakes as big as you like with whatever circle cutter is to hand. I used the rim of a Better than Bouillion jar. You may use a cookie cutter if your partner has not recently used up such jar, or if you have not yet washed said jar of heartily condensed chicken stock. 1.5-2 inches is a reasonable size.
Chill again. You too this time.
Take one cast iron skillet or griddle. Put in a little oil. Heat on high until water gets very angry when you sprinkle a bit in.
PUT HEAT ON THE LOWEST LOW SETTING
Take the scraggly mishapen extra welsh cakes and put them in your pan. Cook them for approximately three minutes per side. These mishapen babies will probably be burnt but this is fine. If they're not, rejoice. Either way, eat one straggly one and sacrifice the rest to the god of your choice.
Cook the rest of the welsh cakes for three minutes per side. If the pan starts to cool below the angry-water stage, turn the heat up very slightly, leave for a couple of minutes, then turn back down. Don't ever, ever, ever put it on medium. We're using residual heat here folks.
Put a small amount of butter on the welsh cakes and eat hot. You can microwave the ones you didn't eat first off.
*as in, when the chocolate chips make a large amount of noise against your wooden chopping board because they won't go any thinner and it's mean to try and make them. This is approximately one quarter inch thick, if a little more.
