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Mar. 26th, 2020 06:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brideoffrankensteinToday I'm going to be recording a session with my supervisor for her to post to the online class she's doing. It's a bit weird, actually. I took the same class during my masters degree, which was when I first read the text I'm going to be talking about. I went on to do the text in my dissertation but it's just so peculiar, because I still in some ways feel like that boy that wrote that dissertation, as if I haven't moved on even though I've been writing my PHD for two years. I love my phd topic a lot and I don't regret it at all, but I miss the MA; I miss writing just straight up literary criticism, and I miss how much I felt like I was actually....culminating somehow. Like all the themes of my undergrad and MA were coming to something. Talking about The Last September again is going to be....strange.
I love Sharp. I'd never give this up now I've found it and as rewarding as I've just been begining to find this process it's also frustrating, and horrid, and I feel so...incompetent, because to be honest this is not what I was trained for (alongside all the issues of imposter syndrome that you just....get, in this situation). This is more book history and critical biography and I have skills for that, and apparently I've been doing good, and it falls within the sphere of literary criticism even if it's just at the grey edges, but it's not....it's not what my MA was.
I went into my PHD excited, and I'm still excited (when I can cut through the fog of incompetence). It's honestly truly not that I feel like I made the wrong choice. This topic has done so much for me on pretty much every level, including gender stuff. It's just that...it feels like a bit of a detour. I love Sharp and I'm happy to keep writing on her for a long while, and god knows she deserves more to be written on her even if it is just this. It just feels like....I was a lot different when I did my MA dissertation. Eh, I don't know. It feels like that spiral staircase thing. Cyclical, but still in a new place. It's not even like the road less travelled. It's just weird.
I love Sharp. I'd never give this up now I've found it and as rewarding as I've just been begining to find this process it's also frustrating, and horrid, and I feel so...incompetent, because to be honest this is not what I was trained for (alongside all the issues of imposter syndrome that you just....get, in this situation). This is more book history and critical biography and I have skills for that, and apparently I've been doing good, and it falls within the sphere of literary criticism even if it's just at the grey edges, but it's not....it's not what my MA was.
I went into my PHD excited, and I'm still excited (when I can cut through the fog of incompetence). It's honestly truly not that I feel like I made the wrong choice. This topic has done so much for me on pretty much every level, including gender stuff. It's just that...it feels like a bit of a detour. I love Sharp and I'm happy to keep writing on her for a long while, and god knows she deserves more to be written on her even if it is just this. It just feels like....I was a lot different when I did my MA dissertation. Eh, I don't know. It feels like that spiral staircase thing. Cyclical, but still in a new place. It's not even like the road less travelled. It's just weird.
