Parental Annoyances
Apr. 27th, 2020 05:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brideoffrankensteinMy parents have been married for thirty two years and neither of them have ANY idea how to communicate. My mum's having a bad time with her depression so she's being a lot more angry and easy to annoy, but she's taken weeks to understand why she's having such a hard time and not communicated it to dad, dad's acting like this is normal anger and getting pissed off, and now he's making accidentally mean jokes and having to be told off by ME, his SON that's LESS THAN HALF HIS AGE. If you make a mean joke you apologise and you mean it. God I'm reassessing my whole childhood. Like fuck i'm not actually oversensitive it's just that NEITHER OF THESE PEOPLE KNOW TO APOLOGISE
My mum'll yell at people and then a month later you'll find out she knew she was being unreasonable and couldn't stop herself but she won't, either then or at the time, apologise. IT'S NOT ME. My dad'll say mean things by accident and not understand why it was mean and will get pissy if you tell him off for it! IT'S NOT ME.
My parents are emotional disasters! It's no fucking WONDER i'm the way i am but I, unlike SOME PEOPLE, am learning to APOLOGISE and TAKE THINGS ON BOARD and COMMUNICATE and LISTEN and okay! yeah! I'm not great at it! but if I'm being real with you I'm having to work from the ground up here! I only started to realise my emotional patterns when Keats and I got together (circa five years ago) but I wasn't able to properly start digesting it until a little while after and then I emotionally shut down for a Long Time (in large part because of the emotional patterns I hadn't digested) and now I'm waking up again (it's a process) and digesting stuff more, but that's been...five months maybe? It's like I'm learning the stuff you're supposed to learn as a kid and a young teenager all over again. Better late than never I guess but still.
Like I know both my parents have emotionally neglectful backgrounds but So Do I because of THIS VERY SHIT. and I'm figuring it out!
My mum'll yell at people and then a month later you'll find out she knew she was being unreasonable and couldn't stop herself but she won't, either then or at the time, apologise. IT'S NOT ME. My dad'll say mean things by accident and not understand why it was mean and will get pissy if you tell him off for it! IT'S NOT ME.
My parents are emotional disasters! It's no fucking WONDER i'm the way i am but I, unlike SOME PEOPLE, am learning to APOLOGISE and TAKE THINGS ON BOARD and COMMUNICATE and LISTEN and okay! yeah! I'm not great at it! but if I'm being real with you I'm having to work from the ground up here! I only started to realise my emotional patterns when Keats and I got together (circa five years ago) but I wasn't able to properly start digesting it until a little while after and then I emotionally shut down for a Long Time (in large part because of the emotional patterns I hadn't digested) and now I'm waking up again (it's a process) and digesting stuff more, but that's been...five months maybe? It's like I'm learning the stuff you're supposed to learn as a kid and a young teenager all over again. Better late than never I guess but still.
Like I know both my parents have emotionally neglectful backgrounds but So Do I because of THIS VERY SHIT. and I'm figuring it out!
